...That's What She Said

Pssssssst.... lean in a little closer.  It's time for some confessions.  Brought to you in part by the wonderful Jackie @Bouquet of Books and Dani @Entertaining Interests (Click the photo link above for more details.).

This blogfest was not only fun to work on, but rather challenging, too! You see, I have the option to dig waaaaaaaaay back into the past, or simply think back to yesterday to find a confession to share with you.  That's the beauty in living just outside the box of "normal", I suppose.  Outside of IWSG each month (or nearly every month in my case), I haven't participated in a blog hop in a while.  Therefore, I feel it is my duty... nay, my supreme responsibility... to over-share.  That's right, folks... it's a Top 5 List for your reading pleasure.  So without further adieu, in chronological order, here are my confessions (narrowed down from 20 original ideas, yikes!):

1.)  When I was nine years old, I joined a scooter gang. Living in a ghetto suburb of Miami, there was an abundance of trouble to get into. My father worked late and I walked home from elementary school daily, just 5 blocks away, but still an obstacle course of would-be kidnappers... to find my stepmother asleep on the couch with the witty banter of The Golden Girls as the only sound in the house. Instead of doing my homework, I would sneak out to meet the neighborhood kids. Lucky for me since I didn't know how to ride a bike, the preferred method of travel was by scooter. Mine was purple. Every day, we scooted to the Cumberland Farms convenience store. And I would steal *gasp* yes, steal a green apple or cherry flavored Jolly Rancher. We're not talking the little individually wrapped rectangle shaped ones, either. I took the long, flat ones that cost $0.25 each. I think I made off with at least $50 in those things over the course of that school year. And worse yet, I can't find them anywhere these days to actually buy them. Perhaps that's part of my punishment.

2.)  When I was twelve, I dismissed a kind boy's Valentine for misspelling my name and laughed at him when he tried to hold my hand incorrectly because I knew we were being watched by the entire class. At age thirteen, I gave a perfectly nice boy the cold shoulder after two popular girls called him "chubby".  This, after said boy and his family had taken me to Disney World for my birthday.  I was mean and cold for all the wrong reasons.  These were the first times I was faced with the split decision of being accepted by the "cool" crowd in school versus being a good person no matter the result.  I chose wrong in both scenarios and it haunted me through the rest of my school days... where I found myself outcast from those cheerleader girls and not one single boyfriend until high school was nearly over.  

3.)  I was 26 and I had a pretty fancy car for my age.  It was a lease that I worked hard to pay for, but I drove it like I stole it.  One such instance was on the way home from a Jet concert, where I had the top down, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" blaring through my Bose speakers, and a good friend's boyfriend in my passenger seat.  Now, before you jump to conclusions, this confession isn't about the guy.  My friend had encouraged the outing since she wasn't a fan of the music and while he did try to kiss me, that aspect was fully revealed to the grateful friend who used it as a reason to finally break-up with her questionable partner. So, back to the confession. Obviously, I was showing off in my James Bond-esque vehicle, taking hairpin turns at three times the speed limit through some side streets at 2:00 am... and as one would expect, I didn't have time to make adjustments before seeing red & blue flashing lights pull out behind me.  Me, being young and not of sound judgment, decided it would be better not to stop.  The details of my high speed chase that ended in a movie-like cloud of dust at a construction site will be featured in my book, but my confession is that I was so shaken up by my risky escape (yes, I got away with it) that I cried about how I didn't want my family to see me on Cops for over an hour before I gathered up the courage to put the keys back in the ignition and finish my drive home... slowly.  When stupidity settles in and adrenaline dies down, one's true colors tend to come out.  And mine was the black of my eyeliner that completely covered my tear-streaked face, flushed with embarrassment.  I often wonder if anyone is as fearless as they make themselves out to be.

4.)  I eventually settled down, climbed the corporate ladder, got married.  And after that, I found myself pregnant with my one and only son.  During those nine months, I hated nearly every minute of it.  I referred to my unborn child as an "alien parasite" regularly.  It was meant to be a joke as I was not one of those "look at me, I'm glowing with creation and love it" preggos... Nope, I was a sweaty hippopotamus who couldn't fit into shoes.  I was grumpy and mad all the time... granted, it was August in Florida, but still... I went above and beyond the call of standard hormonal imbalance.  But after my baby arrived and I fell in love with him more than I thought possible, I regretted making those jokes.  I still do.  And now that he's 4 and can make sarcastic comments to his parents, I often wonder how much of that was absorbed through the womb.

5.)  On Monday, yes, as in just this past week, I took my dog on a long nature hike through the trails behind our development.  Since she's at least 50% water dog, I thought she might like to check out the lake. Unfortunately, what looked like a solid bank turned out to be two feet of soft mud that was only dry on the topmost layer.  Needless to day, my yellow dog turned black from paws to hips.  Being out of work this summer, the family budget is rather tight.  So, when I see the opportunity for a free dog-wash, I'm going to take it.  If you add a revenge aspect into the mix, a little spark from my old life might get ignited.  It was the first day of school, so the entire complex was vacant.  No one was in the gym and the pool was empty.  This is one of several different pools, mind you... and this one is the super cool, fancy infinity pool with a waterfall and a hot tub that I never get to go to because it's typically full of beer drinking, foul mouthed twenty-somethings.  Instead, my little family gets banished to the small, boring pool behind our townhouse. It has some decorative rocks on the side. Whoopdie-doo, right? Anyway, back to the situation at hand.  I looked down at my disgusting dog, then at the sparkling off-limits pool area.  And I think you can guess what happened next.  Yup, I'm the jerk that clogged the community hot tub with mud and dog hair.  But hey, I was twenty once... so I justify this act by saying that there are far worse things that have probably clogged up a hot tub.

There you have it... five randomly selected confessions, past and present.  Please feel free to share a comment if you aren't completely put off by what a horrible, rule-breaking person I am!  In the meantime, I simply cannot wait to hop to some of the other blogs to see what other secrets people have chosen to reveal.  Click the link above to join in our naughty fun ;-)

Two days after my last IWSG post, my entire department was laid-off.  This workforce reduction included not only myself, but my VP and SVP who'd been promising a big promotion, as well as my staff of analysts and processors.  It was unexpected and it took me a few weeks to recover from the shock.  Worse than the lack of notice, there were no severance packages offered and they did not pay out the three weeks of unused PTO I'd stockpiled.  I was devastated and unprepared.  This event could very well have thrown me back into that slump I was talking about earlier.  However, after spending six weeks with my son on an impromptu summer vacation, I now have a tan for the first time in over five years and a new perspective on life.  Forced to cut expenses and survive off less than half your previous income truly shows you what matters most.  Now that my little one has returned to school (Kindergarten... I feel so old!!!), I've gotten more aggressive with the job search and am in hot pursuit of three solid leads.  Each potential opportunity would be an even better job than my last and I am optimistic about the future.  I've had a few creative sparks recently, too, and while I've spent a lot more time drafting different versions of my resume and cover letter than I have my memoir, I have worked on some projects that have helped me feel more like myself.  One such project was the creation of a website, complete with content written by and some photos taken by yours truly... for my husband's new band that is starting to pick up momentum.  I may not have a story to share, but I did get to practice my interviewing skills when writing the band member's bios, so please feel free to have a look and let me know if you have any suggestions or feedback:

The problem I had was nostalgia. Yes, nostalgia is an evil thing... it comes off as a bittersweet emotion and some may use it to describe a happy reflection of past event, but those who do so are wrong.  Feeling nostalgic means that you are longing for something you no longer have. The perfect example is homesickness. I spent nearly ten years plotting my departure from Florida, but then I spent my first year in Texas missing that old people and alligator filled swamp. I got to the point where I wasted hours scrolling through my friends and family's Facebook posts from a thousand miles away... wishing I was there with them to eat at my favorite local spots or hug their babies. I let the nostalgia consume me to the point where I began to feel numb.  I'd respond to texts or click "like" on their posts, but I felt nothing... I was just an empty shell looking through a window to a place I no longer belonged. All the while, I focused on my career and my home life, playing the role of legal executive, wife and mother without skipping a beat. I made sure I was doing everything right for everyone else, which made it much easier not to think about myself or what I thought I was missing. I am over thirty now, with a preschooler, and absolutely no idea how to make new friends. I had no one at the office that I could truly relate to and most of the parents I attempted to interact with at my kid's school were about as fake as it gets. My introverted nature took over and I withdrew from the present, discouraged and eventually depressed as a result of my lack of social interaction outside of my household. 

I think when adults are going through depression, but open to reclaiming their emotions, the universe will slap them with a game changer.  My life changing event was being laid off from my job just over two weeks ago. Two days after posting my IWSG post about making a commitment to write more, I was unexpectedly let go, along with my entire department, my boss and many others (a total of 52% of the current workforce of the company) with no notice, no severance and no idea about what to do next.  I relocated to the Dallas area for this job... without it, I had no ties.  Talk about a wake-up call, right?  I promptly pulled my son out of his fancy-pants expensive preschool for the summer and spent a couple of hours registering for unemployment and putting the family budget into an Excel spreadsheet. Thereafter, my days have been spent sharing breakfast with the kiddo, then job hunting and resume tweaking for about 3 hours while he plays on his own, followed my lunch and Scooby Doo, followed by nap & shower time, followed by summer fun activities until dinner when Dad gets home. I just completed week three of unemployment and I can say this... I would have made an awful stay-at-home mom.  I don't know how those ladies do it.  I've already run low on Pinterest crafts and thanks to all the visits to the pool, I've got a tan for the first time in about five years... what next?  It's exhausting keeping up with a four year old. I play 20 questions with him all day... literally non-stop for at least 12 hours.  I might snap and go insane... except for the fact that I am utterly filled with joy and appreciation for the time that I am getting to spend with him.  I've laughed, I've cried, I've lived.  I'm back. My family has shown me what truly matters and reminded me why we moved out here in the first place. I love my friends dearly, but family comes first and it was my mission to provide the best possible life for my son that I could. Instead of looking at old photos and shutting down my emotions, I'm calling up my long distance besties and catching up.  I'm making plans to get my finances back to a good place so that I can go home to visit while still making a great new life in the Lone Star State... and no longer will I refer to it as the Lonely Star State. I've made peace with the present and I'm letting the past be what it was... something great that lead me to where I am.

So with that, I think it's safe to say that I am almost to the point where I've applied to every job in existence in my field and I won't feel too guilty if I reduce the job hunting down to one or two hours per day and spend at least one of them writing. I should have a new job within the next month or two, so I'll never have this much time on my hands again... I'd be a fool not to continue to make the best of it!  I only hope I can repay the kindness of others in this network by being a better participant.  These last few months, I was certainly not at my best.  But I think we all go through rough patches in life... I think the important thing is what we do after we make it through them. 

1. Thank the blogger who presented this award and link back to their blog –
Thanks Nancy! This was just what I needed to get back into the swing of blogging & it's a fun way to get to know one another better.
2. Answer 11 questions posted by the presenter, ask your nominees 11 questions, and list eleven random facts about yourself.
Check.
3. Nominate 11 bloggers who you feel deserve this award and who have less than 200 followers.
Check.
4. Post the award on your blog.
And check!

Here are 11 *random* facts about me:

1. I am the only person I know who has successfully escaped a high speed police chase.
2. I have a pension for adopting defective animals - the more disease ridden, strange looking and/or neurotic, the better.
3. I met my mother for the first time when I was 24 years old.
4. I was inspired to track down my mother and start a relationship with her as a result of my love of watching my second favorite TV series, Gilmore Girls.
5. My first favorite TV series is Battlestar Gallactica.
6. The only broken bone I've ever had was a hairline fracture in my jaw, from being sucker punched in the bathroom of a country bar.
7. I don't like or listen to country music, especially since my one and only visit to a country bar.
8. R.E.M.'s Automatic For The People album was the sole reason I survived high school.
9. I find cat vomit hilarious... in fact, I'm giggling right now having merely typed the words.
10. I have been attacked, chased and/or bitten by the following animals: dog, cat, horse, bobcat, mole, squirrel, raccoon, barracuda, giraffe, goat, snake, hamster, rat, alligator, wolf spider and sand shark.
11. I've only had rabies once.

The 11 questions asked by Nancy with my answers are:

1. Does your name have a backstory? Were you named after someone, does it have a special meaning, etc.  
I don't have a lot of info on any childhood backstories, unfortunately... so, I don't know if it's true, but my grandmother once told me that my name was going to be Dawn until my father met a little girl in the hospital who was dying from leukemia named Tanya while my mother was in labor. I do know that roughly translated, my name means "Russian Fairy Princess"... The princess part couldn't be further from the truth and I'm not Russian, but fairies are ok, I guess.
2. What’s the one thing you wish you could brag to everyone about?
Well, of course that would be that I am a published author, but I can't do that until I've finished a project worth publishing.
3. What’s your favorite word and why? Actually, "why" is my favorite current word... because it's so much fun to answer when my 4 year old son asks it.
4. If you could eat as much of anything you wanted without stopping until you could pop whenever you wanted, what would it be?  Without hesitation, I pick NY style cheescake. Wait... maybe pizza... No, I'm going to stick to my soon-to-explode gut and say cheesecake.
5. What’s the one thing you wish you could say to your spouse/parents/siblings/best friend but haven’t?  I'm pretty open with my spouse and best friends... but parents and sibling, oooh... that's a tough one... and personal, too... I will say that it wouldn't be something very positive.
6. If you could make someone in your family the MC in a book or story, who would it be and what type of character would they be?  Well, my current WIP is a memoir, so they are all playing themselves.
7. If you could be a #1 NY Times bestseller for the one book you’ve written and can ever write, or be a relatively unknown writer of many books, what would you choose and why?  I think my answer might be the opposite of most, as most people have tons of stories to share... Myself, on the other hand, I have many stories to put into a memoir that could very well turn out to be my life's work at the pace I'm going, so I'll go with the #1 bestseller for a single book... because I would be very happy to have that one thing do well.
8. Who’s your favorite actor and in what movie?  I loved Tim Robins in The Shawshank Redemption, Robert Dinero in Heat, Brad Pitt in Fight Club, Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook... equally, don't make me pick.
9. If you could only have a TV or stereo system (and no other music playing device), which would you pick?  This must be a trick question.  Does this stereo system have a built-in MP3 player or how about satellite radio?  I don't listen to the radio if it can be avoided, but I do prefer music over television these days since nearly all of my favorite shows are off the air.
10. Would you rather vacation somewhere hot or cold, and where would that be? I grew up in Miami, FL, where many people vacation, so I would love to take a trip to the mountains soon... Montana or Colorado.
11. What’s your most controversial belief? There are two things I never bring up at family dinners, and those same two things I generally keep out of my blog, too: religion and politics. But to not skirt the question entirely, I will say that I believe that both science and religion go hand in hand and should balance each other out.

The 11 nominees I am choosing to keep the Liebster Award going are:

1. Millie Burns
2. Kristen Hart
3. Ed Venture
4. Leslie Starr O'Hara
5. Jessica Marcarelli
6. Rachel Featherstone
7. Sarah Chafin
8. Lexie C.
9. Mencara
10. Jess Schira
11. Sarah

And the 11 questions for my nominees to answer are:

1. Why did you start your blog?
2. Are you going to participate in the A-Z writing challenge in April? Why or why not?
3. Enough about writing, we talk about that all the time... let's get to know you! What was the very last thing you ate?
4. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
5. What book are you currently reading?
6. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
7. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
8. What are your thoughts on happy endings?
9. What was the last movie you watched? Did you like it?
10. What is the farthest you've ever been from home?
11. Do you have any odd or special talents?

There we have it... let the Liebstering continue!  I'm looking forward to sharing with some new people and making new connections, how about you?  :-)

This review is from: Provex City (The Lorne Family Vault Series, Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

The author, Michael Pierce, is in the midst of a blog tour for this book now, so grab a copy and help him reach his goal of 100 reviews on Amazon!