...That's What She Said

I just returned a day late from a long weekend in upstate New York.  It's been a little while since I shared some normal day-to-day experiences, as I've been blabbering about my attempt to accomplish myself as an author... but this trip was eventful, so perhaps some of it will amuse someone other than myself.  Of course, if you're looking for a "normal" journal account of a pleasant vacation, you may want to skip on over the the next blog.  Still here?  Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you.

First of all, those who know me know that I am NOT a morning person.  The staff in my office (including my superior VP) all know not to schedule any meetings with me prior to 10:00 a.m. as I need at least two cups of coffee in my system in order to be pleasant or helpful in solving their problems. The few who have dared enter my office before such time have never done so again. With that being said, imagine me having to make a 7:00 a.m. flight this past Friday morning.  Then imagine me with a partially disabled husband and a three year old boy in tow.  (Are we going to the airport, Mom? But WHY are we going to the airport? But WHY are we going to ride on a plane? But WHY are we going to New York? But WHY, WHY, WHY...) When I saw the Starbucks counter that was located directly next to my gate at DFW, I thought to myself, "Hey, I have a good feeling about this trip... it's not going to be so bad." Ha! That will teach me to be optimistic at 6:00 in the freaking morning.  I did not get to finish my coffee. In fact, I didn't get to drink even half of my coffee. My kid was entranced by Wall-E on his portable DVD player, but the 8 month old baby in the seat in front of me was entranced with spitting over his mother's shoulder into my general vicinity. It was cute for about 5 minutes. After 10 minutes I thought, Hmmm... maybe that lady should stop bouncing that baby like it's on a trampoline, especially considering all this turbulence.  After 15 minutes I thought, this is going to be the longest two hours and twenty minutes of my life.  At minute 20, my coffee was ruined. The baby's mother's shirt and pants were ruined.  The seat was ruined. The carpet under the seats was ruined.  By what, you ask?  Oh, just a baby vomit apocalypse, that's all.  The smell was so awful, I had to breathe through the sleeve of my shirt to prevent myself from throwing up my precious 1/3 cup of caffeine. The hubs, who couldn't do the same because of the bulging disk issue in his neck was lucky enough to at least me in the isle seat. Meanwhile, I got to stew in the window seat of the 1970's plane with barely working a/c, surrounded by a pool of mildew-acid-milk that crept toward my sandals like The Blob. The connecting flight was better, it was a puddle-hopper of a little plane, but anything was better than the vomit express to Washington, D.C.


We arrived in Binghamton, NY... a/k/a Mordor, according to my husband who was born there... and were greeted by my in-laws. I was happy to have a grandma around to answer some of the "But why, why, why?" questions. We unpacked at the Holiday Inn (the fanciest place in town) and headed to my sister-in-law's rehearsal dinner at a place called The Sons of Italy. I don't know if it was a restaurant, a rec hall, a portable classroom, or perhaps a combination of all three... but there was pasta... and a little girl straight out of The Shining.  The little weirdo seemed to teleport across the speckled, white linoleum flooring, avoiding the sea of folding chairs and unknown relatives, appearing within a half an inch of my face within a mere three seconds. She just stared at me, then at my son... who was freaked out and trying to crawl into my stomach.  Without saying much, she then teleported to my husband, creeped him out, then re-appeared over by the cake table.

At 2:30 a.m., my husband shook me awake.  He had a fever and was shaking uncontrollably. The only thing worse than being awake at 6:00 a.m. is having to wake your in-laws up to borrow their car keys before 3:00 a.m.  And the only thing worse then that is driving a crappy Chevy in unfamiliar territory to find something open 24 hours. I was really hoping to find a CVS or a Walgreens to pick up some Tylenol... or even a gas station... but no such luck.  Nope, I was about to be forced into doing something I'd once vowed never to do... shop at Walmart... in my pajamas. Well, I can now cross that one off my bucket list.

The next day we went to the diner across the street for breakfast... and for the first time in my entire life, I did not finish my eggs benedict. When your hollandaise looks like mustard, you probably aren't in the right place to be ordering a benedict. Following that, I made a call to an old friend from Florida who coincidentally moved to Binghamton a couple of years ago. After the wedding and reception we were attending that day, I was hoping to visit with her.  As it turned out, she'd end up crashing the reception.

But first, let me just give you the highlight of the wedding ceremony.  It was the first wedding besides my own that I've been to where I wasn't the photographer, so sitting with the family and friends was a whole new angle for me.  This time, I was glad to be a spectator.  After the vows, the pastor asked everyone to bow their heads in prayer.  Not halfway through, a cell phone began to ring in the row behind me.  There were some rustling and fumbling sounds as elderly hands frantically dug around in a purse... then a second loud ring... followed by the words, "Jesus Christ!  Oh, Jesus Christ!" yelled rather loudly.  I had to bite my lip as hard as I could to suppress inappropriate giggling.  Disclaimer: I do not find taking the Lord's name in vain funny... but the inappropriateness of an old lady doing it in a church, in the middle of a wedding ceremony no less... well, come on!  Inappropriate behavior = funny... inappropriate behavior by senior citizens = hilarious.  As the tears streamed down my face, I hoped that the bride would think I was simply overjoyed with her happiness... as I'm sure everyone else on the bride's side of the church pews hoped the same.

My husband's wedding gift to his sister was going to be the gift of song.  Unfortunately, the plan to borrow a guitar from a friend of one of his nieces fell through and we hadn't brought any from home. I sent my old friend a text and within 30 minutes, she had a lead on an acoustic guitar.  In exchange for her driving across three towns to retrieve the instrument and bring it to us, I promised her some free reception food and drink. I arrived at The Polish Community Center with the in-laws, husband and son and noticed a row of boxed wine on the bar on the way in.  Classy. The DJ was playing house music. The 80+ guests who were 80+ in age had no idea what house music was. The DJ walked from table to table seeking requests (none of which he ever played) and my husband nearly fell out of his seat when his great aunt Cynthia requested "Deep Purple".  I received a text message from my friend that said, "I'm out front. The guitar has no strap."  Within five minutes we were headed to the Walmart around the corner (again).  While Walmart may seem to have everything one might need in life, they do not sell music accessories, so I settled on a bargain scarf for the low price of $3.44.  Then I popped the trunk to see how I could best fashion the scarf into a suitable strap... and that's when I saw the beat up, puffy-painted guitar that belonged to a teenage girl.  It said "Dream Boy" on it in sparkly pink paint. It had purple heart stickers all over it. Fantastic.

Luckily, it was dark... and the crowd was old... and the hubs was sick as a dog, so the decorated guitar got a pass.  He rocked an altered version of "Summer of '69" by changing the lyrics to be more about siblings and taking place in the summer of '89... waterworks ensued and all was well.  Except for the fact that the boxed wine only came in Merlot or Burgundy.  I really don't even have the words to describe how I felt about that.  Ok, maybe I do... WHO drinks burgundy wine... WHO?  And don't get me started on ****ing Merlot.

After all that excitement, my ill spouse was as pale as a ghost and was ready for bed at the same time as our little one.  This allowed me to go out on "the town" with my old friend who wanted me to meet her new friends and cousin that lived locally. The night consisted of a lot of driving around to pick up people, arguing over which bar to go to and a lot of accents that sounded like the commercials I've seen for Jersey Shore. We settled on a bar and I entertained myself by picking 12 songs on the jukebox after I was delighted to find such artists as Johnny Cash, Modest Mouse and The Killers in the selections.  I was hoping that the Pitbull song currently playing would end soon.  Sadly, I only got to hear a country song before a fight broke out among the girls and it was demanded that everyone be driven home.  As I watched the dark tree covered mountains from the passenger window, I wondered if the construction workers that filled the bar would unplug the machine when my songs started playing.

Sunday morning we received a call from the airlines stating that our flight had been cancelled and there were absolutely no flights leaving the area that night. We argued with several customer service representatives who wanted us to take an all day trip on Monday with not one, not two, but four different lay-overs. Long story short, a supervisor found us a flight with one stop in Philly that would put us back in Dallas by 2:30 p.m. the next day.  The were sketchy about covering the extra night in the hotel. (I saved the receipt.) With the office notified and another night to kill, you'd think we might have been able to find at least one decent place to eat... but alas, the hubs was complaining that he had never felt so sick in all his life.  We called a walk-in clinic and listed symptoms, to which we were told that he needed to go to the ER.  We ended up staying at the hospital most of the evening, and brought home two different antibiotics and some painkillers for his either a.) bacterial infection or b.) extremely rare and serious case of food poisoning.

Between flights at the airport in Philadelphia, I saw an infamous celebrity boarding our plane.  Security held the line and checked out the place first before letting her on, which concreted my belief in who it was. Having been a resident of Orlando for the last 10 years, I was pretty sure anyway. My husband later egged me on to report the sighting to TMZ... and while I don't watch trash TV (unless you count The Soup), I'm tempted to tune in to see if they were able to track her town and ruin her trip.  Of course, she may not even be relevant anymore... so I guess, we'll see... but I'm really hoping that I was able to rain on her parade. Obviously, I'm not a fan.

We finally arrived home today to find that our cats were not dead (much to my husband's dismay) and still had water and a tiny bit of food... though they were apparently too inbred and stupid to figure out how to get more food to slide down the little ramp of the self-feeder.  And that, my friends, is how my family takes a trip.

I know I may not be reaching THAT many people, but still... I just have to take the opportunity to put up another link (click the photo above) to the outstanding blog belonging to DL Hammons.  Even if you are not currently writing anything and not in the right place to enter a writing competition, you should still sign up to vote.  There are now three rounds per week: Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.  I have immensely enjoyed critiquing the two stories posted with each round of WRiTE CLUB, so much so that I think I'd like to get into beta reading for fellow aspiring authors.  Of course, first and foremost I'd like to finish one of my own pieces of work... but I can't help but get ahead of myself when I get excited about a project.  Surely if I have time to read and review a few stories under 500 words each per week, you can do it, too!  As for me... It's time to give back after all the support and feedback I've been lucky enough to receive in recent months.  ;-)

Today's prompt is: Reflection post: Share your experience from this blogfest. What are the next steps you want to take with your blog?


This is it... the last stop on this blog hop. I sincerely look forward to hopping to as many of the other blogs as I can to read this post above all others... ok, well maybe not above the first paragraphs of every one's WIPs, because that was a blast!  However, this prompt will be interesting because it will bring out all the reasons why we're all here and what's in store for each of us as we continue to "sail the blogging seas".

Over the course of the last few weeks, I found (at minimum) 10 new blogs that I REALLY want to follow, belonging to 10 writers whose work I REALLY want to continue reading. Feeling connected to a group, whether online or in life, can prove to be essential to creative motivation.  I have this Blogfest to thank for keeping me on a writing schedule, posting something at least 3 times a week. Developing good writing habits is something that I desperately need to improve upon and I think this blog hop was a great start.  Already, a few ideas have begun to take shape to scale the wall I hit with my sci-fi WIP.  I'm excited to continue writing and everyone I've met through this experience has truly inspired me to finish what I've started. 

As for what's next... well, I'm not going to lie.  I'll probably post less. Due to my time being so limited, I think devoting myself to one post a week may allow for me to actually put a dent in my word count of my two current WIPs.  Eventually, I'd like to post one progress report on my creative writing efforts/accomplishments, one daily life observance/thought of the day style post and one flash fiction piece.  It was a challenge, but the Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule of this fest worked out pretty well for me. I've seen a lot of bloggers posting with set weekly schedules, like "Flash Fiction Fridays" and while I'm not there just yet... I hope to be soon.

Today I've got two themes to attend to, one for the final stretch of the Buccaneer Blogfest and the other for my monthly contribution to the Insecure Writer's Support Group.  First, let's get the fun stuff out of the way: it's time to grab some booty!  And by that, I mean blogger treasure.  Unfortunately, I'm not published (that will be a long time away unless I get my own booty in gear and finish my book this year) and I don't have anything to personally give away as a prize... but I can cheat a little bit and point you to another blog where you can put your name into a drawing to win free stuff:


The fantastic logo above belongs to Curiosity Quills Publishing and there are several ways you can win points, read some new books and support others in the writing community.  Good luck!


Now... for the less fun stuff.  My insecurities this month aren't too different from what they were two months ago when I last posted.  I'm still struggling to balance work, home and writing.  I'm still making excuses and not finding the time or motivation to write as much as I should or could be.  However, there is one little thing that's different.  Many fellow bloggers often post about fear or rejection on the first Wednesday of the month, but I've yet to complete something that can be sent out into the world to be turned down.  However, I posted a link to a fairly fierce competition on Monday called "Write Club" where stories will compete head to head for a potential publishing contest.  I submitted an excerpt from my memoir WIP that is just under 500 words.  The submissions will be posted anonymously and hundreds of readers will vote.  The winner is looking at a potential publishing deal.  With so many entries, mine may not even be chosen to compete... but I can't help but wonder how I'll feel if it is... and I then have to read through hundreds of comments about why the story other than mine was better.  I certainly don't think I'll take it personal or anything, but this could very well be my first round of pre-publication pursuit rejections.  I just hope I'm ready for it!

Arrrg!!! It's been a fun journey, but I think I see land ahead... time to batten down the hatches... and other nautical stuff!  Sorry, I'll stick to my non-pirate job.  Moving along... Today's prompt: "Social Media: Share your feelings and opinions about social media and it's relation to writing and reading."


All you have to do is scroll back to last year (and the year before) to find out what I thought of social media back then.  However, I'll be nice and save you some time by quoting one of my last rants on the subject:


"My Threadless T-shirts began to have more personality than the one wearing them. A few of friends asked me to pick up my old habit of journaling, but it seemed so hard to find the time. Then Facebook came along and made everyone lazy. Why post a thought provoking blog when you could simply overload everyone's newsfeed with a bazillion status updates about what you're doing just to see if anyone "likes" it? A one sentence long status that gets several comments can seem more rewarding than putting 30 minutes of carefully planned typing out there with not so much as a single response. It was this line of thinking that addressed the problem for me. I've gotten away from sending my words out into the interwebs for my own benefit... like so many others, I'd begun doing it for a reaction."


It took me a long time to stop being mad at Facebook for killing MySpace.  I missed designing my own layout, but more importantly, I missed having my personalized page and my blog all in one spot.  I eventually gave in and started my Blogger account, but most of my actual friends didn't have one, so my audience waned. No one wanted to check both Facebook and Blogger... what a hassle! Of course, in the last couple of months, I've explored a whole new side of social media. Shifting my focus from a daily journal to incorporating my journey as a determined writer has opened my mind to new possibilities. I've said it a dozen times in the past few weeks, but the genuine support that writers show for one another during blog hops truly is mind-blowing.  I'm so grateful to have stumbled onto this network of inspirational, like-minded people. Connecting with others, gathering feedback and reading their samples has had a huge positive impact on me. Everyone I've interacted with has given me the strength to continue moving forward.  As for reading, I would have never read such a variety of work had I not found out about these mini-contests and flash fiction events that are constantly popping up.


For anyone who hasn't gone blog fest crazy like me recently and would like to jump in even deeper, I'll point you to another that's sure to be as fun as this one.  To check out another perfect example of how being a part of a blogging community helps writers flourish, click here:


That's right... it's an anonymous, weekly challenge!  Anyone can enter and anyone can vote, provided you sign in with the linky tool, of course.  Please go support some more aspiring authors and have a blast!

Today's prompt is an easy one for me... who doesn't love writing about their favorite books and why?  Here are my top 5:

1. Pet Sematary by Stephen King:  I read this book in a weekend when I was 14 years old.  It was the first novel I ever finished, then immediately flipped back to the beginning and read it again... in one sitting.  Many people may think that Stephen King is over the top, hokey or weird, but I'd be willing to bet money that those people haven't read his best work, or maybe not any of it, basing these assumptions on poorly made screen adaptations.  Pet Sematary is one of his shorter novels, but it packs a punch.  The great story alone isn't why this is my favorite though. As a teenaged girl with some dark family secrets, King showed me that horror could be turned into something beautiful.  It was in the few minutes that I sat in perfect silence after my first time reading the last line that I realized that I didn't have to falsify memories and write about a happiness that could have been... instead, I could share a little darkness with the world that could spark inspiration within a reader (or at least let them know that they weren't alone).  That's pretty much been my goal ever since.

2. The Drawing of Three by Stephen King:  I literally just spent 30 minutes re-typing that title. The hardest part of this post was picking which of the books in the Dark Tower series to choose as my favorite.  Of course, I cannot choose the seventh book, as it's the only one I haven't read.  (There's a part of me that keeps telling myself that I'm just saving it for a rainy day, but in reality, I don't want the series to end.  I often wonder if there are any Harry Potter fans out there who haven't read the last book in J.K. Rowling's series for the same reason.)  I picked the second book because I think I had the most fun reading it.  The introduction of new characters was unlike anything I'd ever read before and I enjoyed every single word.

3. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams:  I shouldn't have to write much about this one.  It's the perfect blend of comedy and sci-fi... undoubtedly what opened the doors to many of the lighthearted sci-fi and fantasy that we love today.

4. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein:  Reading this book is a life changing event.  It will make you question the society you live in, if you aren't doing so already.  I went into a deep period of self reflection and evaluation after reading this novel for the first time and emerged a better person.  Of course, this book doesn't have all the answers... it's not a Bible or a guide to live by... it will however, force you to think about what it takes to be a human being.

5. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers:  Not everyone loves this book the way that I do, but I've got a strong sentimental attachment to it.  I read it entirely on a plane.  At one point I was in Chicago, at the exact place where a scene from the book took place.  I was moved to tears.  This self-aware, self-satisfying memoir was told in a real voice... with a stream of consciousness that reminded me of my own writing style.  This was the novel that told me that I could write a novel in my own voice... and it might speak to someone else, too.  If I ever get my own memoir published, I will have Dave Eggers to thank.

I think it would almost be easier to answer what WASN'T on my shelves.  Last year, our best friends helped us move and the running joke was that we should be much smarter people in relation to the number of heavy boxes of books we had.  Part of the problem is that we collect hardcover first editions.  My pride and joy (book-wise, of course) is that I have all but the first two of Stephen King's novels in first edition hard cover. I even have rare hardcover editions of the Dark Tower series... but I'm sure I'll delve into all of that on Wednesday.  For now, I'll stick to the theme.  Aside from a book titled "When Dinosaurs Came With Everything" that my three year old son has requested for his bedtime story every night for the past three weeks, I am re-reading the first four Dark Tower books before reading The Wind Through The Keyhole, which is King's newest book in the series (though technically it's a flashback and fits in as novel 4.5).  I am also reading a fantastic sci-fi novel called Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.  If you grew up in the 80's or just happen to love the 80's, this book is a must read. I'm not even a quarter of the way through, but it's already stacking up to be one of my favorite sci-fi adventures ever! Next up on my Kindle is a book recently published on Amazon by a fellow blogger.  It will be my first read through of a fellow blogger's book.  That's right, until now, I've been strictly mainstream.  Shame on me!!! I've read a lot of posts in the past two months about a lot of great story ideas, but many of them are YA books, and I don't know if that's really my thing.  I have great disdain for the Twilight series and I couldn't get into The Hunger Games, either.  However, I found one about a teenaged boy who apparently has a problem with bullies... and ghosts.  In a recent blog hop, I got to read a snippet about the MC's "first fight" and I enjoyed that scene and am intrigued by the plot so much that I'm giving the YA genre another chance.  The author is Michael Pierce and you can find out more about his book Provest City by visiting his blog for yourself:



Click the photo link above.

The instructions for today's post were: Share your lightbulb moment with us. What inspired you to write your WIP? How did you formulate your idea? Is any of your "fiction" taken out of your real life?

Well... a couple of years ago, I stumbled upon a short story science fiction contest that ran yearly. The contest resulted in four quarterly winners who competed for the yearly award of cash and publication. I read the previous four winners and thought to myself, "Why am I not doing this?" And it's not that I thought I could do any better, but I distinctly remember thinking that there was nothing outrageously groundbreaking or new in these tales... no, they won because they had relatable characters and good story structure. The fact that I didn't have to think of a completely original idea or plot to write science fiction inspired me to want to do it myself.  Sadly, I spent the next two years only thinking about my potential story, never finding the motivation to actually begin writing it. Instead, I blogged about my life on occasion and periodically worked on bits and pieces of my memoir style WIP. It wasn't until I'd found myself bored with Facebook late one night (a little over a month ago or so) that I started exploring the blog community for the first time. Until that point, I'd only kept track of my own blog and the three or four belonging to close personal friends. By clicking around, I realized there were networks, support groups and blog fests... all just waiting for an aspiring writer like myself to participate in. It was Cherie Reich's Second Annual Flash Fiction contest that caught my eye. The only rules were that your piece had to be 300 words or less and begin with the words "Lightning flashed".  <Insert lightbulb moment here.> The next day, my story was officially born. In the days that followed, I got so much positive feedback that I was inspired to keep the story going. I may only be at 5,000 words, but I'm further along than I've ever been. Now my main questions revolve around what to do with it once it's finished...

As far as where the actual story idea came from, that's a tough one. Obviously I've read and watched a lot of sci-fi, so the landscape of a dystopian future stemmed from my interest of those types of stories. The idea of a woman who learned how to manipulate her memory most likely came from a close friend of mine who passed away several years ago. He used to tell me stories about how he had mastered lucid dreaming and was working on astral projection. Unlocking powers of the mind has always seemed like the type of science fiction that isn't too far off from our reality today. I think he would have really liked my story.

The part of myself that I see in Winter is her introverted, independent and isolated nature, fused heavily with sarcasm and ideals that focus on justice and fairness. The fact that she is fighting against being creativity stifled also represents the real life obstacles I often face when trying to balance my time between family, earning a living and pursuing my writing. That last part is something I think we all can related to... which makes me hopeful that Winter, despite her tendency to be a loner, will be relatable to others as well.

Hold on to your seats, folks... this will be my very first character interview... EVER.  Until I really dug into my one of my two current WIPs, I'd always just written whatever came to mind.  However, I was having trouble figuring out the best way to get from my climatic mid-point to my ending.  With a million ideas rolling around in my head (ok, maybe not a million, but at least a few)... I became indecisive.  Indecision lead to writer's block... and here I am.  I think the reason why I am having trouble writing from the heart and on the fly this time around is because I'm writing out of my element. I've never attempted to write sci-fi before, as much as I love reading it.  So, I figured while I'm in new territory, I may as well explore some writing techniques that seem to work for others.  If you read my last post, you caught the brief intro to my story called "The Grave Mistake".  (If you were extra sneaky or you are not a brand new follower, than you've likely read my entire "Act I" on my side blog.)  Either way, here goes nothing!

Character Interview with Winter Graves:

Where did you grow up?

"In The New Society, just like everyone else."

What's your happiest childhood memory?

"Probably the day I realized that I was different from the other "pod children" in my programming class. I was plugged in, just like any other typical day when I began to daydream about a painting. The act of letting your mind wander was an impossible feat, yet somehow it had happened. I was eleven years old, and the time was 11 hours, 11 minutes and 11 seconds."

Who was your childhood best friend?

"The TR-30, hands down. The best audio and visual recorder coin could buy. I never left home without it."

What is your greatest talent?

"Well, obviously, that would be my secret... I can trust you, can't I?"


Yes, most definitely. Everything you say here goes in the vault, never to come out.

"Alright, then I'd have to say poetry."

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

"I am supposed to say that I wouldn't change a thing... that the Society Leaders know what is best for everyone.  That's what I would change."

Do you have any regrets? What are they?

"Just one... I wish I'd known what the girl in the rain was going to do before she did it."

Do you have a significant other? How do you feel about them?

"I may have been in love with someone who wrote a book, if that counts.  I loved him because he saved me, though he was terminated before I was born."

What can you offer the world?

"If it were safe, I could offer everyone in the world a life worth actually living."

What is your greatest fear?

"Losing myself completely, should I ever be found out."

I just stumbled across an awesome blogfest that could be EXACTLY what I need to keep myself on some sort of a writing schedule and continue exchanging constructive feedback with other aspiring authors. Court Young and Sharon Bayliss are hosting a month long blog hop called "Buccaneer blogfest" with three prompts per week. Of course, I'm arriving late to the party, so week one will be squished into this weekend in an effort to be ready for the July 16th deadline for week two. Hopefully the cliche "better late than never" is applicable here!