...That's What She Said

Some people may not know exactly why they're a member of this site, but blogging is why I'm here. If it weren't for the fact that it would take too much time and effort to save and repost all of my entries on an alternate site, I'd blog anywhere. It's actually a hobby that I enjoy... and I think I lost site of that recently... but enough about that.

I encounter many tiny events during my normal routine, but neglect to jot them down because they're merely snippets. I think I'm going to start recording them anyway... just in case I want to remember them later. One day when I begin writing my life story, I might need filler.

Chat conversation with friend:
Friend: hey guess what i'm planning to buy this weekend? (which will get lots of use this summer)
Me: a canoe?
Friend: A SLIP N' SLIDE!!!!
Me: I vote for a canoe.
Friend: and a tub of baby oil
Me: or a canoe full of baby oil.
Friend: what do you have against slip n' slides??
Me: nothing. I just like canoes.

Conversation with co-workers:
Attorney: I haven't seen you at all today.
Me: That's because I'm a ninja.
Co-worker: Haha, yes you do keep a low profile.
Me: I think I'm going to buy some smoke bombs on EBay to get the full effect.

Thoughts while driving home from work:
Directly in front of me is one of those car carrier trucks. There are no cars on it and it seems as though they've flattened the top level. On the one hand, this makes me nervous thinking about traveling behind these trucks in the future now that I know the top shelf that typically holds a few tons worth of vehicles is collapsible. On the other hand, with it being flat like that, it's the perfect ramp for me to speed up, hit just right and then fly over the top of all this traffic, landing safely in an open lane up ahead. I'm pretty sure I could do it, but I don't want to ruin my suspension... and I'm not currently in an action movie. Damn.

Thoughts while on my lunch break:
I'm starting to get tired of the "healthy low carb stuff tuna inside a fruit or vegetable routine". At first, filling tomatoes and peppers with tuna salad was a cool new trend that didn't catch on at the office, but was refreshing nevertheless. Going on month two (or is it month three now?), I was finding it rather boring. Until today that is. I just aborted a baby pepper. I was cutting the stem off of my large red pepper before cutting in in half and as I pulled the stem upward, I noticed the beginnings of a green pepper growing inside my red one. It was kind of cute, the mini pepper. There was a little seedling sprout growing out of it that was attached to the inside of the red pepper and everything. I wondered if the red pepper had some sort of torrid affair with a green pepper while mingling on the shipment truck before I'd picked it up. It was one of the oddest food anomalies I've ever encountered. Before filling the red pepper with tuna salad, I trashed all of the innards (including my "mixed" pepper baby)... which immediately brought to mind the last episode of Family Guy that I'd watched where Peter makes a reference to something being like a "prom night dumpster baby"... thereafter a bunch of fetuses with baritone voices did a little musical number while swinging their still attached umbilical cords in place of canes. How wrong is that? All in all, this was probably the most unsettling lunch break I've ever had... but at least it broke away from the norm.

P.S. I know that red peppers start out green, but that wasn't nearly as fun to write.