Shiny, unhappy people. (July 15, 2008)
My last entry revolved around the word gross; perhaps this is a trend. (Consider yourself warned.) I went into the ladies room at the office today and noticed two bright blue rectangles in the trash can. These caught my eye because several months ago I was introduced to these little squares of pure magic also known as Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets. First, let me audition to be the company's spokesperson because these miracles of modern day cosmetics are the best thing to happen to my face since concealer. For years, I've suffered from slimy face, a condition that plagues many women of Italian heritage. Up until discovering the Oil Absorbing Sheets, I would use a tissue or napkin to blot the grease from my skin which removed patches of the liquid foundation make-up applied that morning. Applying additional powder only made it more splotchy and artificial… sometimes to the point of where I may as well have been hired to do the special effects make-up for a movie about a leper colony. Since using these convenient blue rectangles to do the job, my make up finally tends to look natural all day long. Now, back to my point. Recognizing what was in the trash as one of my new favorite things in life, I couldn't help but notice that they appeared barely used. Whichever of my co-workers that also "uses" this product couldn't possibly have a face to cook an egg on like yours truly. Oddly, I felt almost insulted on behalf of my beloved grease blotters. I wanted to pick them up and show this unknown shine-free co-worker how it's done. The pretty blue should turn nearly transparent from end to end. Whomever discarded these that were hardly touched should not be allowed to buy them, for they OBVIOUSLY must have no idea what it's truly like to only maintain a matte finish for 20 minutes tops. The sanitary side of my brain would never allow me to dig in the trash, but I was not able to suppress this irrational urge completely. Pulling a fresh sheet out of my own purse, I pressed it against my forehead, cheeks and chin, sucking up the slime... leaving no corner untouched. Letting the soaked rectangle plop into the garbage pail, I nodded in approval. I can only imagine that upon my co-worker's next visit to the restroom, she did not likely share my satisfaction. In fact, it probably would go more like, "Ewww, gross... how many times did that person re-use the same sheet?" My answer, if I were there of course, would be, "Just once... as it should be... now get your perfect skin and normal sized pores out of here and stop acting like you've got problems that don't exist."
Score:
Non-pregnant, oil free, size 4 female co-workers: 0
Me: 1
***This blog is dedicated to Bexxx and her white worms.***
Score:
Non-pregnant, oil free, size 4 female co-workers: 0
Me: 1
***This blog is dedicated to Bexxx and her white worms.***
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