...That's What She Said

This may be too much information for some, so count that as your warning before reading on. Over the last few months, I've been making observations while using my office's restroom facilities. I can think of few things that make me more uncomfortable then bathroom talkers. A smile or hello if you pass someone on your way through the door is fine, but once you're in... there should be no stall to stall conversation. I'm not sure why, but it completely weirds me out. Don't yell over your pee noises to ask, "Hey Tanya, is that you?" Don't make small talk by commenting about the weather, either (especially if I have no idea who you are). Just do your thing and leave me alone. However, there seems to be another odd phenomenon going on in public facilities for us girls. Sometimes, I'll enter and clearly see shoes under the door. Once I'm secured in another stall, I'll notice that the other woman in the room is eerily silent. We're talking no rustling of clothing, no squeaks of the toilet paper dispenser, not even breathing. It's like the mysterious owner of the shoes is completely frozen in time. This also freaks me out. I try running the water in the sink and making lots of unrolling of the paper noises to make them more comfortable, but still nothing. Are they trying to get a better listen to what I'm doing? Are they having a case of stage fright? What exactly is the problem? There are a few older women in my building, so I often begin to wonder if they've died on the pot. This makes me want to ask if they're ok over there, but that would completely break my first rule of no talking to other restroomers. Such a conundrum, I know. Anyway, it's just creepy and makes me rush out as quickly as I can. I guess my point is: why are office restrooms so uncomfortable? Perhaps even more importantly, why is that I don't hear about issues like this going on in the men's room? How is it that men automatically know not to be chatty by the urinals, but women seem not to notice that the paper seat cover dispenser is not actually a toilet to toilet talking device? Also, I'd like to know if the whole suspended in time thing happens on the guys' side, too... or if it's just something that happens to me. Maybe the next time I encounter this, I should freeze, too. It would sort of be like a staring contest... I wonder if I'd win.