...That's What She Said

Whenever I start to feel like I'm losing myself or that I might be a little crazy, I find comfort in the reviewing of my Meyers Briggs personality profile. No matter which website I refer to or which expert has written what article... the words always fit me to a tee. I don't know if the day will ever come when I am not completely floored and fascinated by the fact that slight genetic differences have yielded only sixteen different personalities to separate human kind. I am undoubtedly an INFJ and reading words that describe why I respond to things in that manner that I do always brings me a sense of calm during times of chaos. It gives me logical explanations to illogical emotions. It grounds me. To ensure that I am not babbling about something generalized to fit most situations like a fortune cookie or a Sunday horoscope, I invite those who really know me to read the following and advise of anything that doesn't add up. I also highly recommend that you discover your own personality type if you haven't done so already. I'd be interested in learning what relationship your type is to mine.

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Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging:

"Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

'There's something rotten in Denmark.' Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words."

"INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively."

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This explains my love of the new TV show Dexter, why I'm often bored at work and spend my lunch breaks blogging, the reason that I completely broke away from my friend circle several months ago when I was too stressed out by drama to deal with anyone and why my close friends tell me that I always seem to be "right" about other people. This personality of mine is both a blessing and a curse... and because less than two percent of the population are also INFJs, I believe that may be the reason I have trouble maintaining connections with most. The good news is that I have stumbled across a handful that "get me"... and what I need to do now is focus on them. I was thinking about things a lot last night and I realized that I'm actually holding on to an ideal, a feeling, a concept... not so much a person (or group of people). The grief I've felt over this loss will never completely go away, but I must learn to co-exist with it... and if I'm very lucky, I will be able to one day re-create it. I have touched upon this problem of mine a few times since mid-last year. I have realized that I needed to take action, but I just didn't take the right steps. I guess no one gets it perfect on the first try and no one changes over night no matter how badly they want to.