Karma or Coincidence
I think that most blogs written around the new year are filled with anticipation and expectations for the future... but this isn't one of those. This new year, I've been thinking about the unfortunate subject of exes. I feel the need to preface this, however, by stating that none of this thinking was intended, on purpose or of my own choosing.
The first scenario involves the ex before the last ex... the "put my heart through a blender ex". Yes, THAT one. I'll try to skip through most of the boring stuff by simply saying that one of the new departments I was put in charge of helping create and install a system workflow for was the department that handles contacting my firm's existing clients who are nearing their contract expiration dates. This means that in order for us to continue representing them, they must sign another contract and pay an additional retainer in order for us to keep working on their case. Another of my new departments that I'm over-seeing is the mail room. Last week, the mail room was charged with mailing out a bulk batch of letters to the type of clients I described above. Upon checking in on the project, I noticed a name and address on an envelope that looked familiar. In the 16 months of working for my current employers, never once did I think of this ex, nor would I have had reason to check to see if he were a client of my law firm. Seeing the envelope led to me look up his electronic file... looking up his electronic file led me to an event that shocked me. On my very fist day on the job, the ex came into my office for the first time to drop off his legal paperwork to initiate legal work on his case. On the exact same day. In case anyone missed that last detail... on the exact same day. This ex once told me that our fates would be forever intertwined and that we'd attend one another's funerals and other dramatic, romantic nonsense. Luckily, I don't believe in fate. However, I do believe in Karma and forging one's path through the choices one makes. It would be unethical for me to disclose the unnamed ex's legal problems due to the fact that several of my most beloved friends (who might actually read this) were stolen from said ex... but I will say that his case probably would have yielded quicker results had someone as high up the chain as myself known about it and gotten involved. Had this ex not lied, cheated on and thoroughly used me... perhaps he could have had a friend to help him when he was truly in need.
The second scenario involves the most recent ex... the "we should have just stayed friends ex". Yes, THAT one. This instance can be detailed with fewer words as it doesn't require a lot of back story (if you've read my last few posts... ha!) It was New Year's Eve and I arrived to the front of a bar I once loved with a party of six, all decked out in hideous 80's prom attire. Two people behind me in this line was the ex and few of his friends (one of which used to be mine, too). Once inside, I waited at the bar to place a drink order while one of my party was approached by the ex who asked if "that was me over there". Now, I know I was covered in purple ruffles, but seriously? Anyway when our mutual friend simply stated yes, his response was "I guess she's mad at me, huh?" Again.... seriously? After that, I began to lose myself in the music, the dance floor... and the vodka. Strange girls I've never met crossed the crowd just to tell me how much they loved my dress. Two of them took pictures with me... I felt like a celebrity. Yes, my dress was that ugly. The night went on and aside from one or two "pretend you just didn't make eye contact" moments, I had a blast. During those brief glimpses toward the bar, I saw the ex texting on his phone and smoking. Said ex had been so proud of himself for quitting when we first became friends and throughout our relationship marveled at the fact that it was the best thing he'd ever done for his health. Beyond that regression, he looked alone... and not exactly sad, but not happy either. This can be a lonely situation for anyone in a crowd on New Year's Eve at midnight.
I suppose the point of this blog is to reflect on what was and what is... I don't take pleasure in other's misfortune and I don't wish for anyone to suffer through any failures or set backs in life. And despite my general nature to want to help those in need, I do not feel pity for these exes, nor would I ever wish them back into my life. However, I do hope that the new year brings them clarity and knowledge that will enable them to change and be good to others... so that their lives will get better, too. As for me, gaining these two little pieces of insight have helped to concrete my belief that the choices I've made have been the right ones. No matter how rough the road may get, I know it always leads to home... to happiness... to my family. Cheers to a new year.
The first scenario involves the ex before the last ex... the "put my heart through a blender ex". Yes, THAT one. I'll try to skip through most of the boring stuff by simply saying that one of the new departments I was put in charge of helping create and install a system workflow for was the department that handles contacting my firm's existing clients who are nearing their contract expiration dates. This means that in order for us to continue representing them, they must sign another contract and pay an additional retainer in order for us to keep working on their case. Another of my new departments that I'm over-seeing is the mail room. Last week, the mail room was charged with mailing out a bulk batch of letters to the type of clients I described above. Upon checking in on the project, I noticed a name and address on an envelope that looked familiar. In the 16 months of working for my current employers, never once did I think of this ex, nor would I have had reason to check to see if he were a client of my law firm. Seeing the envelope led to me look up his electronic file... looking up his electronic file led me to an event that shocked me. On my very fist day on the job, the ex came into my office for the first time to drop off his legal paperwork to initiate legal work on his case. On the exact same day. In case anyone missed that last detail... on the exact same day. This ex once told me that our fates would be forever intertwined and that we'd attend one another's funerals and other dramatic, romantic nonsense. Luckily, I don't believe in fate. However, I do believe in Karma and forging one's path through the choices one makes. It would be unethical for me to disclose the unnamed ex's legal problems due to the fact that several of my most beloved friends (who might actually read this) were stolen from said ex... but I will say that his case probably would have yielded quicker results had someone as high up the chain as myself known about it and gotten involved. Had this ex not lied, cheated on and thoroughly used me... perhaps he could have had a friend to help him when he was truly in need.
The second scenario involves the most recent ex... the "we should have just stayed friends ex". Yes, THAT one. This instance can be detailed with fewer words as it doesn't require a lot of back story (if you've read my last few posts... ha!) It was New Year's Eve and I arrived to the front of a bar I once loved with a party of six, all decked out in hideous 80's prom attire. Two people behind me in this line was the ex and few of his friends (one of which used to be mine, too). Once inside, I waited at the bar to place a drink order while one of my party was approached by the ex who asked if "that was me over there". Now, I know I was covered in purple ruffles, but seriously? Anyway when our mutual friend simply stated yes, his response was "I guess she's mad at me, huh?" Again.... seriously? After that, I began to lose myself in the music, the dance floor... and the vodka. Strange girls I've never met crossed the crowd just to tell me how much they loved my dress. Two of them took pictures with me... I felt like a celebrity. Yes, my dress was that ugly. The night went on and aside from one or two "pretend you just didn't make eye contact" moments, I had a blast. During those brief glimpses toward the bar, I saw the ex texting on his phone and smoking. Said ex had been so proud of himself for quitting when we first became friends and throughout our relationship marveled at the fact that it was the best thing he'd ever done for his health. Beyond that regression, he looked alone... and not exactly sad, but not happy either. This can be a lonely situation for anyone in a crowd on New Year's Eve at midnight.
I suppose the point of this blog is to reflect on what was and what is... I don't take pleasure in other's misfortune and I don't wish for anyone to suffer through any failures or set backs in life. And despite my general nature to want to help those in need, I do not feel pity for these exes, nor would I ever wish them back into my life. However, I do hope that the new year brings them clarity and knowledge that will enable them to change and be good to others... so that their lives will get better, too. As for me, gaining these two little pieces of insight have helped to concrete my belief that the choices I've made have been the right ones. No matter how rough the road may get, I know it always leads to home... to happiness... to my family. Cheers to a new year.
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Whoa. Weird coincidences.