...That's What She Said

Last week as I pulled down all the streamers and balloons that my coworkers had so enthusiastically strewn about my cube at work, I found myself staring at the colorful contents of my trash can wondering if the magical sheen that coats the word "birthday" naturally begins to wear thin with the passage of time. Like most simple pleasures enjoyed during childhood, I suppose a birthday can turn into just an ordinary day for some. However, it all depends on what you choose to appreciate and pay attention to. That same night, despite plan changes and last minute detours, a portion of my group of friends surprised me by showing up to a dinner that I originally thought was to be shared with Brian alone. I was (and still am) very appreciative of those who drove out of their way to share a meal in my honor. I just hope that my pre-occupied mind did not give any of them a different impression. Following the hearty Irish fare, I had the pleasure of watching a movie, seated between my two favorite boys in the whole world. Again, I felt lucky, but the weight of the coming weekend (and the too close to home content of the film) may have effected my mood more then I would have liked. It wasn't until I woke up on the actual anniversary of my birth, packed up the car and hit the road Friday morning that I was able to give this idea some more thought. Was I just getting too old to enjoy celebrating my birthday or had I just endured too many years of hospital visits around the same time that it caused a dampening of cheer on my part? If I believe that happiness is a choice, which I do, then the ability to appreciate should be as well. While it is far from easy to shift one's perspective when death or tragedy is imminent, I feel it is very possible to focus on the positive parts of one's existence. Despite the fact that I had to drive nearly the entire length of the state of Florida on Sunday, I am happy to announce that I chose not to cancel my 29th birthday celebration. Friday night through Saturday night, I was spoiled by my mother and her husband (f/k/a the pirate) and was able to show Brian what South Beach living entailed. The defining moment of this year's festivities wasn't receiving any particular gift or any particular free dinner... it happened while sitting at an outdoor table on Lincoln Road. To be more specific: it was watching Brian happily smoke a freshly hand rolled cigar after consuming a plate full of steak and lobster. This leads me to believe that it's undeniably true that the meaning of love is finding that another's happiness is essential to your own... because it wasn't until I saw the absence of stress and state of utter contentment on his face that I felt like it was actually my birthday. This positive feeling carried me through the visit to the hospice center up in G-ville on Sunday evening. The best way that you can be a source of strength and support for your family is to be happy... and I think I finally got it right. While it may have taken an extra day to sink in, I would like to collectively thank those who wished me well over the past several days. Whether you gave me an actual card on paper, a MySpace comment or even just a hug... you played a role in helping me find a better state of mind during a trying time. It is because I have good friends whom I love so dearly that I was able to eventually regain some perspective... and hopefully enough positive energy to rub off on my family members who need it the most right now. If you're reading this, then I'm probably talking about you... in which case, I'll just end this by saying that you're nothing short of awesome. This concludes one of the most fluffy blogs I've ever written. I feel like I should insert a fart joke or something to balance this all out, but I'll leave you with warm fuzzies and save the humor for another entry, another time.