...That's What She Said

First, I must share how my day began... but not how the waking up began, for not everything must be shared with the general public... we'll skip to the part where I'm in my freshly detailed car, driving through my neighborhood. My initial annoyance was the fact that far too many people have their sprinklers all out of wack and insist on watering the street. I'd like my car to stay clean for at least one whole day, thank you. Next I was fortunate enough to pull out onto the two lane road that makes up half of my morning drive behind a pick-up truck with this monstrous cab thing covering its bed. In addition to the two standard brake lights and third brake light on top, there were four additional brake lights installed on the corners of this cab (I think that's what it's called). They were the same lights that you'd find on a boat trailer, but were actually affixed to the back of this vehicle. At first I thought they were mere reflectors, but no... approaching the first speed bump I was immediately blinded by red light. What sane person thinks that they need seven brake lights on their truck? I was trying to remain unaffected, but this guy was a brake tapper. If there's one thing that will give me road rage, it's that... but wait, it gets worse. Upon making our first turn (of course he's going the same way), I get the joy of having not one blinking red turn signal... but four blinking red turn signals. Is it even legal to make the third brake light do that? If only my car wasn't a lease and I was willing to smash the front end of it, I would have considered rear ending this guy just to prove how distractingly bright and highly annoying his stupid lights were. Oh, and I forgot to mention that as well as being a brake tapper, he was an over-courteous blinker user... I knew he was going my way for a good two minutes... the city should consider making Lake Underhill more then two lanes, I would vote yes.

Now that my neck has tensed up with the stress of reliving my short trip of utter frustration this morning, I will attempt to redeem this entry with my story. One of my co-workers is a devout member of a religious organization & I discovered today that contrary to my uneducated assumptions, she can take a joke rather well. Instead of traditional file cabinets, we have what you would call filing drawers. Each department has several drawers files are kept in during the different stages of the legal process and the lady I was referring to was rummaging through the one of those closest to my desk... one that I mainly use for what I do. I promptly got up from my desk and loudly asked her, "Hey, what are you doing in my drawers?" Another co-worker near by broke out in giggles and wanted to know the answer. Amused, the lady replied, "I was just leaving, I didn't find anything interesting in your drawers anyway." Now, I had gotten up for another reason other then to have fun and it was to pull a file from the cabinet ... and it just so happened that the first name on the file worked out perfectly. As I retrieved the file, I yelled across the room to her, "Oh really, well I just found Jesus in my drawers."

As far as I know, she was not offended.