...That's What She Said

I started that list on my fancy new phone, just as I said I would. See previous blog. The list is officially called "Blogstorming" and here is what I've added to it in the last week and a half or so:

1. "not for sure"
2. White Mazda 626 guy
3. Splenda in coffee
4. Mother in rain at Ross
5. elevator hopping
6. lemon mirage pie
7. toe-less ho(es)
8. Publix yogurt
9. stapled crotch
10. Jonathan's "oh snap!"
11. volunteering past/present

Technically I could write 11 different blogs, but since I've been such a slacker lately, by the time I wrote them all I'd have a whole new list to catch up on. Thus, it looks like I'll have to do another series of snippet blogs... and I may as well start with 1 - 3.

I'm fairly certain that we are all familiar with the fact that every other human being we encounter has the potential to irritate us. The cute little quirks that we initially find so endearing often turn into something that causes a nervous tick within ourselves, pushing us to the point of an outburst with every occurrence. However, whether it's a friend, family member or lover... if you care about them enough, it's easy to over-look such annoyances. In cases of love, problem solved. However, what happens when it's a person of less importance... like a co-worker or neighbor? How can you brush their habit casually aside without the eye-twitching and deep sighing that comes right before wanting to leap over the cubicle wall and slam their head into a keyboard, permanently imprinting a few letters into their forehead... specifically the N, O, T, F, O, R, S, U, R and E keys. Alright, so obviously my complaint is about a fellow employee. I'm not allowed to wear headphones and I'm at a complete loss of how to somehow form a mental block against this person's defect. One might say that I am exaggerating... but then I'd say that one does not sit at my desk for 37.5 hours per week, 52 weeks a year. If I were to ask you if you'd like to have a sandwich for lunch next Tuesday, you'd likely respond with, "I'm not sure." That would make me happy... very happy. If I were to ask my work neighbor, she'd say, "I'm not for sure." In fact, at least once per hour, she answers questions with that exact phrase. "Hey So-And-So, do you have this file on your desk?" Her reply, "I'm not for sure." Her phone rings and she says, "Oh, am I going next weekend, well... I'm not for sure about that." And so on... every week of every month for the last year. I could just snap and go postal at work... it could happen tomorrow... or next week... I'm not for sure though.

*Deep sigh*

In other work related news, I mentioned that I've been driving home on my lunch breaks to walk Hershey. What I didn't mention was the tangent that I've been playing over in my mind on my 2 minute drives each day around 12:30. I am a creature of habit. I do a lot of the same things at the same times of day and I take the same routes to get from place to place. I'm not a fan of detours. I am not alone. Since I've been homeward bound for my thirty minute breaks, I've noticed a man sitting in his late 90's model white Madza 626, which is parked in the same spot on the brick road behind my building every day at 12:30 and gone when i pass again at 1:00. I typically don't stare people down as they sit in their vehicles, but this guy has been pretty noticeable. He leaves the driver's side door wide open (with the window down) as he simultaneously smokes a cigarette and eats a sandwich. It's the same scene day after day and I feel as though I have an unspoken bound with this fellow fan of repetition. I drive around his door that is ajar every day at 12:30... while thinking, "Why does that guy leave the door hanging open if the window's down?" And I can't help but also wonder if he's thinking, "Why does that girl always wait until she gets to the stop sign to put her seat belt on?"

Last but not least, the issue involving artificial sweetener. Upon learning of my elderly dog's fragile health, I questioned my own lifestyle choices. I thought it might be a good idea to stop the jokes about getting some use out of my Aflac cancer insurance policy via my aspartame intake. I thought it might be an even better idea to pick up my old work out routine. Several days later I was in the break room at the office. As a poured the third packet of Splenda in my coffee filled styrofoam cup, I shook my head. First of all, I'd forgotten to use my environmentally friendly ceramic mug that was somewhere in the kitchen there. Secondly, who's to say that Splenda isn't going to be found to contain some form of poison after a few more studies? In fact, instead of coffee, why couldn't I just drink water? Honestly, what good is a revelation if it does not invoke change? I believe this scenario is a perfect example of perpetual human flaw. We always think, "Tomorrow is another day." When I strolled into work five minutes late, I thought to myself that I'd just try to come in early the next day... but I rarely make it on time, let alone early. When I poured more artificial sweetener into my disposable cup of liquid caffeine, I thought to myself that I'd switch to water poured into a thermos the next day... but I've yet to take myself seriously. When three of my loved ones died within the last six years, I'd thought to myself that I wouldn't take life or my health for granted any more... but I still say, "Tomorrow's another day." While it's true that I am generally happy with everything in my life right now, perhaps happier then I've ever been... I can't help but kick myself for not being as concerned about my future. I don't want to be another statistic of the procrastination generation... but it's so hard to break a cycle that's been repeating for so very long.

I promise that blogstorming ideas 4 - 6 are not work related and more humorous. Until then... over and out.