...That's What She Said

I've been thinking lately that everything is a trade-off. Every choice, every word, every path one chooses in life seems to be in trade for something else. Maybe this will coincide well with the whole "When a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil..." theory. It's really very easy for a person to say the words "everything happens for a reason"... but I think it is a whole lot more difficult to actually believe in it, experience it and apply it to how you live life. A sub-philosophy that goes with that main one (at least for me) is that "everything affects everything else." For example, I've known more then one person in recent history who plays the role of Switzerland... meaning that they remain neutral through all levels of conflict between mutual friends and acquaintances. On the one hand, this supports my belief that not everyone you love has to get along and people who may not like one another can co-exist in the same room in order to spend time with a group of mutual friends. While this is possible (and I've proven it in my own life), I've also noticed that it causes a ripple effect... a generally negative one. Relationship labels were created long ago for a reason. As society has grown and changed, new labels have been added to our vocabulary, but for the most part, the core labels still serve a very important purpose. These labels come with rules, guidelines and expectations. They are meant to help alleviate confusion, just like an actual label on a file at one's place of employment is meant to do. For instance, calling someone your "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" allows the general public to understand the nature of your relationship to that person, rather then saying something like, " the person I'm seeing". It also lets both parties know where they stand with one another. So, lets just say that you decide one day that you aren't going to use labels anymore and that every person you know who is not blood related to you will receive equal treatment. Then, let us say that someone comes to you and tells you of a grave injustice done by a mutual friend, something along the lines of betrayal or purposeful malice. Now, a loyal friend may feel compelled to empathize and share in the disappointment or anger toward this third party and take a stand against the offender... but one who's chosen to remain neutral at all costs will sympathize, but continue to love both parties equally. On the one hand, a person can continue to be held in a good light and superficially maintain happy relationships with numerous people by avoiding conflict. On the other, a friend of that neutral person who spends more time and effort on their personal relationship and sees that they are not rewarded with the same level of respect and attention will feel slighted... and ultimately end up getting hurt. By staying on good terms with people regardless of what they do toward others in your life, you can unintentionally damage a close and true friendship. However, by taking sides and standing up for someone who's been wronged, you can make enemies and loose other friendships. I know where I stand on this issue... until now, it's been somewhere in the middle, but I've realized it just isn't something that I can be on the fence about any longer. However, I'm curious as to what others think. My general question to anyone reading is this: which is better? Is it better to give up labels like "best friend" so that everyone you love will feel equal, or is it better to risk conflict and heartache to strengthen a single bond like a "best friend"? What are you willing to trade-off?